


Ha, That's Cute

by ajay_lotte



Series: The Yellow Car Initiative [21]
Category: Agent Carter (TV), Daredevil (TV), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Wolverine (Movies)
Genre: Animalistic, Attempt at Humor, Fear, Gen, Human Disaster Matt Murdock, I Don't Even Know, In a way, Kinda, Police, Protective Brett, Running, Science Experiments, Tags Are Hard, Tasers, This ones a lil different, Vigilante Culture, Vigilantism, Wolves, idk what to tag, occasionally, yellow car game
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-19
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-03-16 02:28:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29568921
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ajay_lotte/pseuds/ajay_lotte
Summary: In which Logan comes looking for Red, New York shuts down, and everyone- everyone- hides in a bunker away from the chaos.
Relationships: Brett Mahoney & Matt Murdock, Clint Barton & Natasha Romanov, Logan (X-Men)/Matt Murdock, Matt Murdock & Franklin "Foggy" Nelson & Karen Page
Series: The Yellow Car Initiative [21]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1883668
Comments: 6
Kudos: 66





	Ha, That's Cute

**Author's Note:**

> The plan was to write some fratt for valentines day- plans change ':D  
> Marvel owns all these characters and stuff, this is just a fanfiction for my own amusement because I suck, I'm bored, and spend too much time contemplating the vigilante hierarchy  
> Sooo this fic is a bit different in style, but hopefully it's still kinda fun to read!  
> Lotte :)

There’s an unspoken rule in the underground of New York. Between vigilantes, street criminals, and even mainstream villains who sometimes find themselves meandering into the black-market side of things, they know to shut down all operations when the Wolverine sets out to find the Devil. It doesn’t matter who’s involved, they stop unless they want to get dragged into the bloodbath of two wild animals.

One of the first people to hear about Wolverine’s upcoming visit is Clint. He hides in the vents of the Avenger’s tower, stopping anyone who tries to open the door with an electrifying bow and arrow. “Why are you keeping us inside?” Tony groans up to the vents one day, laying on the common room sofa having just woken up from passing out. “I want to fly Upstate to meet Pepper at the unit. We’re meeting some clients, and…”

“Nobody leaves,” Clint says, firmly.

“Why?” Nat asks, looking up from her book.

Clint goes deadly silent for a minute. “You mean you don’t know?” He asks, and this gets the other Avengers’ attention. They look up to see Clint through the gap in the vent, hoping for an answer. “Wolverine’s making a trip to Manhattan.”

“Logan’s great,” Sam says, “I mean, he is scary, no doubt about it, but he’s no reason to stay cooped up inside.”

“No,” Clint says, “you don’t understand; he’s going to Hell’s Kitchen. He’s looking for the Devil.”

“FRIDAY, put the whole tower into lockdown.” Nat says without hesitation and stands from her seat, suddenly remembering she has some target practice to get to. “Nobody leaves the tower until the whole thing blows over.” And nobody dares to go against Nat’s word.

It’s no secret that Wolverine and Daredevil are friends, the X Men know this, the Avengers know this, hell, even the Fantastic Four know this. And they’re barely around for any of anything, between science fairs, celebrity weddings, and tracking various villains through radiation or whatever. The team ups between the two are great, they’re a strong pairing, and Deadpool started a rumour saying the sex was fantastic. Nobody’s dared to question that one.

It takes a couple of days since then before cops and lawyers begin to notice the difference. Brett’s on the beat, working the day shift for once, and on his lunchbreak, he decides to pop into Nelson, Murdock, and Page. Karen’s on the phone at the reception desk, scheduling meetings, and she gestures for Brett to the conference room. He knocks on the door before walking in to find Foggy and Matt working a case. “Hey Brett,” Foggy says, “what’s up?”

“You guys busy?”

“Not at all,” Murdock says, “just a divorce case.” Foggy pulls out a seat next to him so Brett takes that as his cue to take it.

“So you guys have noticed it as well, then.” Brett says, earning questioning glances from the two. “The drop in crime. It’s been what, almost a week now? And there’s been nothing. Not even a mugging.”

“Sounds like you’re complaining, officer.” Foggy jokes.

“Not complaining,” Brett shakes his head with a laugh, “but it is kind of concerning. Other times this has happened, New York has been turned into a warzone, ransacked by…”

“Animals?” Matt provides.

“Yeah,” Brett says, “and as glad as I am that people aren’t getting hurt, and that I haven’t had one anonymous phone call from a Daredevil related incident, I don’t know what to anticipate.”

“I’m sure it’s nothing, right Matt?” Foggy asks, and Murdock hums. Brett’s known the idiot of a man long enough to know this isn’t a good thing.

“I don’t know. Tony Stark rang me a couple of days ago, saying they aren’t allowed to leave the tower. He doesn’t know why, but Hawkeye and the Black Widow are insisting on it. He says they’re petrified, and he’s never seen them like that before.”

Brett pales at that. “So there aren’t even going to be any superheroes on the job? Murdock, you represent the Defenders a lot. Do they know what’s going on? Will they help?”

“There will be people on the job,” and he says it with such certainty that Brett immediately calms down just a little, “it might not even be as bad this time.”

“This time?” He asks, and Murdock smirks. Foggy turns to face Matt with a look of disbelief on his face.

“Matt,” Foggy says, “I’ve seen your snapchat group chats. You’ve been kidnapped more than enough times to have the tea from every upcoming supervillain and petty criminal, and so many rescues that I wouldn’t be surprised if Captain Frickin’ America marched through the office door right now to announce you as his new second best friend to the world.” If anyone asked, Brett would deny glancing at the door in Foggy’s break for a dramatic pause. “What has happened before and what is happening now?”

Murdock works his jaw. He taps his fingers on the table, and when that’s not enough, he grabs his cane, fiddling with the strap of that. It’s still not enough. The lawyer stands up and starts pacing the room. “Wolverine’s coming to the Kitchen.”

There’s a crash from outside the room. Brett gets up to see if everything’s ok. Karen had been washing up coffee cups and dropped one on the floor. China shards litter the floor. “Everything ok?” Brett asks.

“Yeah, yes. Everything is fine,” Karen says. “Uhm, guys, I’m going to take the rest of the day off. I’ll just clear up and get out of your hair.”

“Are you ok, Karen?” Foggy asks. She nods. “Ok, umm, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow. Bright and early.” Brett furrows his brows as she looks to Matt almost pleadingly. He doesn’t pick up on it, so Karen clears her throat.

“Actually, Foggy, why don’t we close the office for a couple of days. You always like going on spontaneous holidays.”

“We just got back from one. We went with Brett, literally recently.” Murdock rocks on the balls and heels of his feet. “Wait, is this a thing?” Brett wants to know what classes as a ‘thing’. Matt nods. “What classification?”

“Seven.” Matt and Karen say in chorus. Foggy jumps to his feet, then.

“Brett, we’re gonna be closing the office.” Good to know that Foggy hasn’t changed regarding his ability to remain inconspicuous. Brett wonders how hard it must be for Murdock and Page not to be pulling their hair out right now. Foggy looks at the pair. “Seven point what?

“Seven-point-eight,” Matt says, and Karen hums. “Point-nine,” he corrects.

“Point nine?!”

“What’s a seven-point-nine?”

“There’s a scale,” Matt starts, and fidgets with his cane again, “one to ten, based around an agreed contract, that evaluates the danger of the situation.”

“Anything above a seven means that I do not want to know what it is,” Foggy says. Brett nods, he can understand that, given a lot of the time, specifically regarding this trio, he has the same mindset. It’s probable the avocados know a lot more than they let on.

Like, a whole fucking lot.

Foggy continues: “it also determines the amount of time we shut the office- a ten being at least two weeks, a nine being one, eight being five days, and a seven being three. It just means… there’s going to be something bad happening in Manhattan.”

Karen nods, and makes eye contact with Brett before saying: “if Wolverine is coming to the kitchen, the cops won’t need to worry about anything except whatever problem he’s bringing with him.”

“Will we need reinforcements?”

“A lot, probably,” Murdock says, apparently shocking his friends as much as him, “but most of them are paid off not to make an appearance. But Brett, if you could keep as many people off the streets for the next three days, that’d be…”

“I’ll do that,” he says. It’s not like Murdock to ask for help, especially from Brett. “And it’ll help to narrow down our searches for corrupt cops. Two birds with one stone.” It’s not long after that in which Brett’s leaving the office, the three locking up behind him. They were quick to pack up, with no jokes and not even one conversation about what files to bring home from work. If they’re not worried about their workload, Brett knows this is bad.

A couple days later and still, nothing has happened. Brett’s thinking about what this means on the Nelson and Murdock scale when he notices a familiar face ducked under a baseball cap sitting alone with a coffee. He has more questions, and maybe Frank is engrained in the underground community more than his lawyer friends. He goes into the coffee shop and orders a mocha.

He can feel eyes burning into the back of his head. Frank’s examining him, trying to tell if he’s been spotted or not… if he needs to get out of here. Brett doesn’t give him the chance to decide, taking his coffee and walking straight over to the table. “Pete,” he says, “this seat taken?” Frank grunts, and gestures to the empty seat. He’s not running yet, so Brett takes that as a win. “The streets are quiet, don’t you think?”

“Yeah.” He gets nothing more than a grunt.

Brett needs him to talk, so he decides to take a stab in the dark. “Word on the street is it’s a seven-point-nine.”

“Ha, that’s cute,” Frank says, amused now, apparently. “How are you versed in vigilante culture?” Brett shrugs, deciding a noncommittal answer better for this conversation. “Latest update is an eight-point-nine.” Ok, so the firm’s still shut. “Jones has put her money on it stretching to a nine but based on the lack of plans for drug rings and trafficking for the next month or so, they’re betting on a ten.”

“Why don’t they just meet halfway with a nine-point-five?” It’s a logical question, but Frank just looks at him like he’s just made two plus two make seven.

“You’re counting wrong,” he says eventually, taking a sip of his coffee, “the numbers mean different things. Should be a colon, not a decimal, but blame that on Red. The man’s never been good at his grammar.”

“Ok,” Brett says, “so Jones is betting on a nine-point-nine. I take it the first number means how dangerous the situation is, what about the second?”

Frank looks at Brett like he should know this. “How necessary Daredevil is to the problem. I shouldn’t be telling you this.” Frank stands, taking his coffee with him, but the steps he takes towards the exit, he retreats, standing close to Brett. “Red would beat my ass if I don’t offer- there’s a group of us heading to the team Red bunker, you’re their cop, you’ve got an invite if you wanna take it.”

“So you’re all going into hiding too?”

“Yeah,” Frank says, “the Avengers all shut down days ago, and the X Men put up forcefields all around the mansion- no-one’s getting in or outta that place.”

“What about Reed Richards?” Brett asks.

“I think they know more than they’re letting on,” Frank says, “they’re off world for this one.”

“This one what?” Frank looks like he’s debating whether to let Mahoney in on the secret or not. He decides against it.

“I’ve stayed out longer than I should, I had some business to take care of. This is the last time Deadpool’s opening the door so it’s your choice Mahoney. You’re either dead meat or the clean-up team. Your choice.” And this time Frank does actually leave. Brett texts Foggy to ask what he would do. Foggy, in all caps, says to go to the bunker. He then gets a long, lawyer like, follow up text saying unless he wants the only cops alive after this to be corrupt ones, it’s worth staying out of it.

If Brett did this, he’d be just as bad as the rest, and Murdock requested back up. So he doesn’t catch up with Frank, he stays and drinks his coffee before sending in a request for back up and a warning for New York residents to stay inside.

Turns out, people have no qualm with cohering to this, which isn’t good news. Orders like this normally result in protests, or people not paying attention, doing something stupid. The next day, the only people out in the streets are Brett, twenty or so other officers, and the Devil, who scares the hell out of Brett by approaching him silently from behind and tapping him on the shoulder. “Mahoney,” he growls.

“Daredevil,” Brett doesn’t waste his breath, “what’s the situation?” His face does a thing. “You don’t know,” he figures.

“Wolverine’s here.”

"A superhero; that's good right?"

“Yeah,” he agrees, albeit reluctantly, “but it’s Wolverine.”

Brett decides to move on. “Spoke to Castle yesterday, he said it made it to an eight-point-nine.”

“A seven-point-ten.” It takes a second for Brett to understand what a seven-point-ten is, before remembering it’s just bad grammar.

“So there’s definitely no way of us doing this without you, huh?” He jokes, but the Devil doesn’t stick around. He cocks his head to the side and escapes up a fire escape.

The next time Brett sees the Devil, it’s been three hours, and he’s running down the main road, practically on all fours, blood dripping down his chin alongside the Wolverine. They don’t stop, or say anything, leaving Brett dumbfounded. “What the f-?” He doesn’t get chance to finish his statement. An army of wolves foaming at the mouth are chasing after the pair of them- the ground shakes. Brett takes out his taser and manages to stop one of the wolves at the back of the group. It falls to the ground, baring it’s teeth. He tasers it again, and it falls unconscious.

Another officer comes over to help Mahoney. “Should we call an animal centre or something?” Brett puts on some gloves and crouches down next to the wolf. He’s careful not to touch the foam coming out of it’s mouth, and with instinct he opens its eyelid.

“I’m no animal expert,” Mahoney says, “but that’s a human eye.”

“Detective,” the officer asks, “do you think they were leading the wolves somewhere?”

Brett blinks. “Fuck.” So that results in him ringing Foggy to see if he can contact the Devil. The lawyer stumbles through some various vague truths and lies, and Brett can hear multiple people laughing and shushing each other in the background before Foggy says he’s at the bunker and he can find someone who can. He passes on the message. Ten minutes later, Foggy’s ringing him back.

“So, Daredevil knows. They’ll be passing again in five-minutes, so the wolf needs to wake up and you all need to not die.” Brett thanks Foggy, and luckily, the wolf wakes up in three minutes. Unfortunately, it means fending off a murderous wild animal for two.

This time, when the heroes pass, they’re teeth are clenched and dangerous, much like the wolves’, and their faces (as much of them that can be seen) are shining with sweat. “Yellow car!” The Devil all but growls, apparently not having noticed it the first time they passed.

“You’re insufferable,” Wolverine growls straight back, not knowing it was his reaction to the car that lead Daredevil to pick up on it anyways.

Brett understands why Murdock went with ‘animals’.

The wolf turns its attention to the vigilantes, then, and starts chasing them, falling in line with the front of the pack. It takes a second for Brett to realise that Daredevil was able to have a conversation with someone who was probably Foggy whilst in the midst of this.

Brett shakes his head and takes to the radio, “This is detective Mahoney of the NYPD. It is imperative no officer try to detain the wolves,” he says, “Daredevil and Wolverine have it under control, we are here as protection to the city. Turns out, some of the other officers had done the same as Brett, and in turn made everything a lot harder for the vigilantes.

When they pass on the fifth time, their speed has increased by so much, but Brett doesn’t miss the pained words from Wolverine as they pass: “tase anymore and I’ll kill your officers regardless of the Devil’s morals.” Daredevil laughs after that, obviously not believing a word of it. Brett wouldn’t be so sure.

They don’t pass again, and soon Foggy’s ringing him. “Nelson, what’s happening?”

“I wanted to tell you that we were right, almost- it was a seven-point-ten. Turns out the delay was just that Daredevil was hiding from Wolverine, trying to delay the inevitable and shit. So, crime will be up and running sooner than thought.”

“Is the wolf problem sorted?”

Brett can hear people laughing in the background and Brett thinks he’s on speaker.

“No,” Foggy says, “and the number is still a seven so I would like to know as little about this as possible, please.” Brett takes that as warning. “I’m just passing on a message that there’s been a headcount and they’re minus three. So, just don’t die Brett. My mum will kill me.”

Brett doesn’t know what exactly happens since that moment, but he does no he gets the help from a couple of Avengers. “Black Widow, Hawkeye,” he greets them as they approach him from the street, “how can we help?”

“We caught the missing wolves, sent the off with Red,” Black Widow says. “Three officers died.” Shit.

“The numbers are a lot better than last time, Honest Cop. You did a good job; she’s just playing you.” Hawkeye clarifies. “This is gonna require a lot of paperwork, considering Daredevil is an official Avenger now, and we’re going to have to ask you to come with us to help get the reports straight.”

“Should you be asking Daredevil?”

“He’s currently still on the case, working with Wolverine to track the scientists responsible and reverse the effects on the people. I assume you realised they were human, detective.” He nods, and by the look of the Avenger’s faces, he passed some kind of test. That’s how Brett ends up sat at the Avengers compound in a room with the two spies and the one and only Agent Peggy Carter. Brett’s on the second question and decides to try conversation.

“Everyone acts like this has happened before,” Brett says, breaking their whispered conversation, “and there’s a scale that people refer to. Why?”

The two spies leave the room, and Agent Carter comes to sit opposite him. “A lot of this is off record, and if you’re going to consider taking a complicated promotion, we want to offer you, detective, it’s best you learn what you can.” Brett stays quiet but continues to fill in the documents. “The scale isn’t just used for Wolverine crossovers, it’s very common around New York, and there are traces of it being used in San Francisco.”

“Ok, so the Devil takes day trips. But why is everyone so scared for the ‘Wolverine crossovers’?” He tries, and Agent Carter smiles.

“Because they’re dangerous together, detective. Wolverine likes Daredevil: he relates to him in ways us humans couldn’t understand, something to do with superpowers. You were there on the day, to see them running. They’re wild animals, no?” Brett nods. “So, Wolverine, always alone finds someone who he likes and can trust to help him when things get tough on the job.”

“So if Wolverine gets in too deep, he comes looking for the Devil.”

“He scared half the underground away in just doing that, and Daredevil doesn’t make it easy to be found. The first time he came, he bought Sabretooth with him. We sent our best spies to figure out that case, turned out a lot of people were bribed into keeping the Iron Fist off the scene. A lot of people died, but a lot of people were saved, and in the end, they defeated him.” Brett nods. “The second time, Wolverine bought the yakuza after him, not knowing they were already after our Man Without Fear.”

“Oh shit.” Mahoney learnt some stuff about the Hand, not much, but they were ninjas involved with the yakuza.

Agent Carter nods. “They painted the town red,” she sighs, “I don’t have time to list every event, but there’s been more than enough times to learn what to do if Wolverine looks for the Devil.”

“And if the Devil looks for Wolverine?” Brett asks, and that’s when the spies return back to the room, carrying coffee.

Black Widow smirks, “it just normally means really, really good sex.” Brett looks at her shocked, only mumbling a thanks as she hands him the coffee.

Hawkeye snorts. “I knew it wasn’t Deadpool who started that rumour.”

“I plead the fifth,” Black Widow says, knowing full well the accusation lies true.

“Now, detective, I may be approaching you some day with a… strange work proposition, but I’d seriously like you to consider it. You are brilliant at your job, and we could do with someone more like you.”

“What? Your everyday cop who’s ninety percent coffee?”

“You’re The Honest Cop, Mahoney,” Hawkeye says, “and we’re all made of coffee.”

So, Brett’s leaving Upstate with new thoughts roaming around his mind, and being so lost in them, he doesn’t see Murdock until it’s too late. “Sorry Murdock,” Brett says, straightening the pair of them, letting go of Matt as soon as possible, noticing the flinch. “How was the bunker?”

Murdock seems to consider him for a while before he just nods. “Good,” he says. “Heard you got some of the action? Foggy said something about you tasering one of the wolves.” Of course Murdock will already know what’s happening.

“If anything, I think we all made it more difficult,” Brett says, and Murdock hums.

“Maybe so, but you did your job, and if you didn’t, you wouldn’t be the honest cop we all know you to be.” Brett smiles a little- it’s nice, hearing that coming from someone so determined to do right, and someone who is ultimately... painstakingly... incredible at their job. “Speaking of, I’ve got to get back to mine. I’ll see you around, Detective.”

Brett’s too distracted by Murdock’s overused blind joke that by the time he shouts: “Murdock, your office is that way!”, the lawyer is out of hearing range. Of course Matt could hear Mahoney, but he’s got a hell of a lot of wolves to attend to, favouring a particularly enhanced one more than the rest. But he smirks to himself, enjoying the sound of Brett’s analytical breathing as the cop watches him round the corner in the exact opposite direction to Nelson, Murdock, and Page.

“Are you gonna tell him?” Logan growls that night after tracking down the scientist to fix the problem. “Your honest cop?”

Red delays the answer with a couple of rough kisses to the chained-up man. “He’ll figure it out,” he growls back, and with an efficient throw of the stress ball by the bed, he turns out the lights.


End file.
